A Comedy of Eros
by MyGirlCrais
Summary: Legolas is getting married...probably...and Haldir promised to attend the wedding. But it seems he also promised to stop it, and he can't seem to remember why... HaldirOFC & implied MM
1. Promises, Promises

Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings remains the property of J R R Tolkien and New Line Cinema etc. I'd rather get reviews than money anyway.  
  
Timing: This fic takes place some years after the One Ring was destroyed. Obviously it is somewhat AU. Notably, in this fic Elrond has not left for the Grey Havens and remains Lord of Rivendell.  
  
Pairings: Haldir/OFC, also one m/m. Mild, mostly implied, but there. If the idea bothers you, you probably won't enjoy the story and there's no sense in reading it if you don't.  
  
This fic has nothing whatsoever to do with my other fic 'Traps'. I am starting to post the two fics together so that if everyone hates this story and no one reviews, I can be partially consoled by the reviews from that.  
  
And so, I take the plunge and introduce 'A Comedy of Eros'.  
  
'Part 1'  
  
Lothlorien was the picture of calm. The sun rose majestically, the birds began their dawn chorus. It was truly idyllic.  
  
And then it was shattered.  
  
"I DO NOT NEED TO RELAX!" Haldir bellowed.  
  
For some reason he couldn't quite fathom, very few shared this opinion.  
  
"Haldir, it's only for a couple of weeks," Rumil said, in a placating tone. "And you'll have a wonderful time. Rivendell is beautiful this time of year."  
  
Haldir pushed the last of his belongings roughly into his horse's saddle bags and eyed the animal with dislike. "I see no reason why I must leave my duties and travel all this way for a . . . " his nose wrinkled in distaste, ". . . vacation."  
  
"Because you made a promise to Legolas that you would attend his wedding and he is holding you to it," Rumil reminded him.  
  
"It is completely unreasonable of him to do such a thing," Haldir muttered mutinously. "I meant to make no such promise. He shamelessly took advantage of me when I was . . . slightly inebriated."  
  
"Utterly soused," Orophin corrected, risking a small smile. Haldir glared menacingly at him.  
  
"Well perhaps that will teach you to try and match drinks with a Mirkwood elf," Rumil said. "And the King's son at that! That elfling was probably suckled by barrels of Thranduil's best brew."  
  
Haldir deftly mounted his horse, ignoring their comments.  
  
"Farewell, my brothers," he said. "I shall not be gone long. Pray that when I return, I'm in a better mood."  
  
Rumil and Orophin watched as Haldir rode off, heading for the borders of Lorien and the long road to Imladris, until he was out of sight.  
  
"He doesn't remember, does he?" Rumil said, a wicked little grin pulling at his lips. "About the other part of the promise he made to Legolas?"  
  
"Certainly doesn't look like it," Orophin agreed, a matching one taking over his face.  
  
"Oh, what I wouldn't give to be there this summer," Rumil said, casting a longing look in the direction Haldir had gone.  
  
"And I too" Orophin said, following his gaze. "It certainly should be an event to remember . . . "  
  
***  
  
For the life of him, Haldir couldn't imagine why Legolas greeted him with such a look of relief and gratitude on his face. True they had forged some kind of friendship on Legolas' visit to Lorien the year before, but surely nothing to make him now look like he had had Caradhras lifted off his shoulders. If that truly did account for it, then clearly the prince was severely lacking in friends.  
  
"I'm glad you're here, Haldir," Legolas said, completely unnecessarily, in a low voice that suggested he was conveying a great secret. "You have no idea how bad things have been. There are less than two weeks before the wedding and you're my only hope to stop it."  
  
Stop it? Since when was it his job to stop it? And wasn't this supposed to be a rare love match as well as a political alliance?  
  
Legolas started to pick at his nails, demonstrating as nothing else could how on edge he was. He rarely did anything that would reflect negatively on his looks.  
  
"I think father suspects," he said, even more quietly, as a stable hand took Haldir's horse away and they started to walk together towards the guest quarters. Legolas took one of Haldir's bags, although not, Haldir noted, the heaviest one.  
  
"He has been watching me even more closely since we arrived here," Legolas continued, keeping his head bowed. "Insisting I spend almost every minute with Alariel and none at all with . . . who I would choose. I do not know how much more I can take."  
  
Haldir found it difficult to understand why anyone would find spending time with Elrond's niece a hardship. The few glimpses he had had of her on previous visits to Imladris had shown him a rare beauty, and with the Evenstar far away in Minas Tirith, Alariel seemed to shine all the brighter.  
  
"But now you are here, I am sure we can find a way to end this masquerade," Legolas went on, seemingly unconcerned with Haldir's lack of response. "I feel sure she has no more interest in me than I have in her . . . and that you can draw her away enough to make her call off the wedding - as my father will not allow me to. Perhaps then he will see sense and allow me to follow where my heart leads me."  
  
Haldir stopped abruptly and nearly dropped his bag. Pursue Alariel? Prevent the long awaited alliance between Rivendell and Mirkwood? Defy not only Lord Elrond, but King Thranduil too? Dear Valar, this had to be a joke!  
  
"Is there something wrong?" Legolas asked, his expression creasing into a frown.  
  
Haldir nearly broke into hysterical laughter. "Wrong? No, of course not, what could be wrong? I have left my home and my duties and come to Rivendell - fulfilling my promise to you - and I find you intend to send me to my death at the hands of at least one of the greatest lords in Middle Earth. How could anything be wrong?"  
  
Legolas made frantic shushing motions as Haldir's voice began to rise and finally clamped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"What do you mean you have fulfilled your promise?" he whispered fiercely. "I told you how things were and you promised to do everything I asked of you to prevent this sham marriage taking place. Do you now intend to go back on your word?"  
  
Haldir looked pointedly at the hand covering his mouth. Legolas removed it.  
  
"I recall making no such promise," Haldir whispered back, restraining himself with difficulty. "I said I would attend your wedding, which I still intend to do even though you drew that oath from me only after you had made sure I was intoxicated. I have no memory of swearing that I would willingly take part in any suicidal plan to prevent your marriage to a beautiful elleth whom most would cut off their arm to make theirs."  
  
Legolas looked at him, stricken. "Then . . . you not only do not remember making this promise, but also . . . why I asked it of you?" he said faintly.  
  
"As I said," Haldir said frostily. "You had me half out of my wits on your lethal Mirkwood brew. To my knowledge, nothing else took place but your request that I be here for this event."  
  
Legolas' shoulders slumped, an expression on his face like Haldir had just handed him a death sentence. "I should have known . . . that it could not be so easy," he whispered. "I thought you remembered what I told you . . . and you would prevent this. That was my last hope." He broke off, swallowing hard. "But clearly, I shall have to do my duty . . . and sacrifice my happiness for the good of Mirkwood."  
  
He dumped Haldir's other bag unceremoniously on the ground and strode off back the way they had come, looking for all the world as if he was blinking back tears. Haldir stared after him, now utterly confused, angry and more than a little bemused. While a good few elleths had not faired well at his sharp tongue, to the best of his knowledge he'd never made a male elf cry before.  
  
***  
  
After some thought, Haldir concluded that going back to Lorien before the wedding was out of the question. If for no other reason than because his brothers would probably be on duty at the borders and might well refuse him entrance to the Golden Wood. On balance, that was a scene he would prefer to avoid.  
  
He eventually found his rooms - when a charming elleth, who seemed to be part of the wedding party, pointed him in the right direction - and prepared himself for dinner. He was particularly glad that he had brought his best tunic with him, as he hoped to get at least a dance from said elleth and, with luck, rather more.  
  
He spotted her almost as soon as he entered the room. She shone out like a little golden-haired beacon. Unfortunately, she was standing with Legolas - along with both Lord Elrond's sons - and Haldir felt it might not be diplomatic to approach them. At least not until he had worked out exactly what it was that he didn't remember.  
  
That didn't stop him from watching her though. Which he did, until he had memorised every detail of her face and every curve of her body visible while she was fully dressed. An impediment he had every intention of removing at the earliest possible opportunity.  
  
Indeed he was so intent on watching her that he didn't notice who was standing beside him until he spoke.  
  
"Greetings, Haldir of Lorien," King Thranduil's permanently stern voice said right by his ear.  
  
Haldir jumped and then tried to pretend he hadn't. Thranduil had the grace to act as if he didn't notice, although Haldir had not doubt that he had.  
  
"I understand that you are here at the request of my son," Thranduil said, in what might have been an amiable tone.  
  
Haldir quickly composed himself as best he could. "I gave my word that I would attend his wedding," he replied.  
  
"Then I assume the two of you are friends."  
  
Haldir considered this. Given the events of the day so far, he wasn't so sure. "To some degree," he agreed.  
  
"But not . . . close ones?"  
  
Thranduil's tone seemed to contain a hint of a meaning that Haldir couldn't guess. "I would not say so, no," he answered.  
  
Haldir found himself under careful scrutiny for several minutes. He wondered what the King could possibly be trying to determine.  
  
"If you are friends, then I'm sure you would be prepared to offer a little . . . guidance. For his own good, naturally."  
  
"What kind of guidance?"  
  
"My son is young, Haldir, and I feel he is . . . apprehensive at having such an important responsibility laid on his shoulders as the alliance between Rivendell and Mirkwood."  
  
Haldir somewhat doubted that, given what Legolas had seen and done during the wars of the ring, but decided to be diplomatic.  
  
"I am sure that as an older, more settled male, you can give him a push in the right direction."  
  
A moment later, Haldir felt his arm encased in a steel trap.  
  
"This marriage must happen," Thranduil hissed in his ear. "I have only one son unmarried and no other way to cement this alliance. I rely on you to get my son to the alter on the appointed day, whatever his personal feelings. Otherwise I shall be most seriously displeased. Is that clear?"  
  
Haldir tried not to show any sign of discomfort or nervousness. "Perfectly," he said. As if he could have given any other response.  
  
"I'm glad we understand each other."  
  
And suddenly, without warning, he was alone again.  
  
So, he had now apparently promised both to stop this wedding and make sure it occurred. In retrospect, perhaps something of an error.  
  
What in the name of the Valar was going on here?!  
  
But, as he genuinely did not remember promising Legolas anything of the kind - and had no proof that it had in fact taken place - he could safely disregard that and maintain his honour. After all, he had no motive for keeping Legolas happy.  
  
He tried to go back to admiring the view, but the lovely elleth had disappeared. He quickly scanned the room, employing his tracking skills to zoom in on his prey.  
  
Which is when he realised she was coming towards him. With Legolas on her arm. And he seemed to have cheered up somewhat.  
  
Legolas greeted him with a triumphant smile that put Haldir instantly on his guard. "Greetings," he said. "I am asked to make an introduction. Mellon-nin, this is Haldir of Lorien. Haldir, this is Linisse - my sister."  
  
He was in trouble.  
  
"Delighted to meet you properly," Haldir told her, looking remarkably composed. "And thank you for your assistance earlier. I hope I will be able to return your kindness during my stay here."  
  
"That is most kind of you, sir," she said demurely. "I shall know who to look to if I am in need of anything."  
  
Haldir lifted her hand and bent his head to kiss it. "My lady," he said, "I would be honoured if you would think of me first to satisfy all of your needs."  
  
One eyebrow arched. "You are too generous, my lord."  
  
Haldir saw Legolas' smirk and decided it might be wise to cool it, just a little. He had a nasty feeling he was playing right into Legolas' hands, and that was not a place he wanted to be.  
  
There was a cry of "Lego!" and Elladan, youngest son of Lord Elrond, bounded up with his usual overflow of decorum and claimed Linisse's attention.  
  
"I just realised that I have gone almost this whole evening without reminding your sister that she is the love of my life," Elladan proclaimed dramatically, giving Linisse a dashing smile. "Will the house of Thranduil forgive me?"  
  
Linisse giggled and the hackles rose on Haldir's back. Elladan was such a terrible flirt. Just because he had deflowered most of elleths in Imladris didn't mean he had the right to start on what Mirkwood had to offer.  
  
"The house of Thranduil knows that I am not the love of your life," Linisse replied, in the same tone she had used with Haldir. "And it requests of Lord Elladan that he learn from his brother and behave as befits a son of the house of Elrond."  
  
Elladan clasped his hands to his chest. "I am heart broken," he proclaimed dramatically. "Have you forgotten the beautiful nights we spent in Mirkwood last spring?"  
  
"That would be difficult, sir, when it was not me you spent them with."  
  
"Oh . . . " Elladan began, but that was as far as he got.  
  
"That is quite enough," Elrohir said firmly, taking his brother by the arm. "I apologise for my brother's behaviour. I can assure you that the next time I have cause to visit Mirkwood, I shall come alone."  
  
"Surely there are some in Mirkwood who would miss my presence?" Elladan said, pouting.  
  
"Perhaps a very few," Legolas said. "But I think you may have to look far to find them."  
  
"Oh, I think not, Lego," Elladan said. "I will have you know that I truly left my heart behind in Mirkwood . . . and I have every intention of coming back to claim it."  
  
"Perhaps when you have learnt to act with a little more restraint," Elrohir said, starting to propel him away. "Dinner is served, my lords. I would offer to escort you, my lady, but I fear I have my hands full. Perhaps instead I might request that you reserve me a dance this evening?"  
  
"I would be glad to," Linisse said. "And I will even keep one for Lord Elladan, if he can behave himself through dinner."  
  
"Which he will not," Elrohir said, with a smile. "So I will claim that dance as well."  
  
Haldir watched in amusement as Elrohir towed his brother towards the dining hall. How Lord Elrond had managed to produce two sons so utterly different was beyond him. He had a feeling it might just be beyond Elrond as well.  
  
"Lord Haldir," Linisse said. "As you have declared your attention to see to all my needs, might I ask that you escort me to dinner?"  
  
"Certainly," Haldir replied. "And I shall take the opportunity of reserving a dance of my own."  
  
Legolas followed them silently into the dining room and made no comment even when Linisse voluntarily seated herself next to Elladan. Haldir sat down on her other side and Legolas took the seat beside him. As soon as Linisse was occupied, laughing over some silliness with Elladan, Legolas leaned over towards Haldir.  
  
"Tell me," he said, "is my sister worth giving me aid?"  
  
"What kind of aid?" Haldir asked, asking himself the same question and answering in the affirmative.  
  
"No more than I would do for you, if you help me," Legolas replied. "You will find I can be a very useful ally."  
  
Haldir considered this. "I am prepared to give you some measure of help," he agreed finally. "Although I have yet to discover what it is that makes you so desperate to avoid this marriage."  
  
Legolas looked down at his plate soberly. "Perhaps, after all," he said. "It is better that you do not know." 


	2. A Night to Remember

'Part 2'  
  
By the end of the meal, Haldir had concluded that Legolas must be either blind, stupid or else have something very, very wrong with him. He had paid close attention to Lady Alariel - interspersed with frequent periods of gazing at Linisse - and so far had found nothing to fault her on. Legolas was clearly quite mad.  
  
Although, to be strictly fair, Haldir could see what he had meant about her lack of interest in him. King Thranduil towed his son to Alariel's side as soon as the meal was over and they spent several minutes having a strained conversation, both glancing around them for someone to rescue them. That someone was Elladan, who put his arms around their shoulders and started telling what were undoubtedly tasteless jokes. Legolas blushed, but to Haldir's surprise Alariel laughed out loud. But then, she and Elladan were cousins after all. Probably she had just grown used to him.  
  
Linisse gave Haldir the first dance, much to his delight, and several more. But still her tone was light and she seemed to give no more to him than to Elladan. Her flirting was light, but she did it with everyone, except perhaps Elrohir. But then, Haldir thought, grinning to himself, flirting with Elrohir was almost as great a challenge as doing it with Elrond.  
  
He took his opportunity as the ball drew to a close.  
  
"My lady," he said as she went to leave, offering his arm. "May I escort you home?"  
  
"You may," Linisse said lightly. "If you so wish. Although, considering the difficulty you seem to have finding your rooms, perhaps I should be the one to escort you?"  
  
Haldir smiled. This was going better than expected. "I have no objection."  
  
They walked the few corridors until they reached his rooms, making casual chitchat about the fine weather and such. Haldir devoted a small part of his mind to that and used the rest to picture exactly how she would look with all that hair splayed out on his bedspread. It was always nice to have something to compare the reality to.  
  
She actually made to leave when they reached his door, but Haldir caught her hand and pulled her gently, but firmly, back.  
  
"My lady of Mirkwood," he said, not quite trapping her against the wall. "I hope to get to know you much better."  
  
She smiled, but folded her arms across her chest. "Of that I have no doubt," she said archly. "But I'm afraid, my lord, that you shall have to do so in daylight and in the company of others. I do not wish to join your list of conquests - which I imagine is extensive."  
  
Haldir released her, both annoyed and admiring. "No list would be complete without your name," he told her, kissing her hand again.  
  
Linisse laughed. "I am not quite sure whether that is a compliment or not, but I will take it as such. Goodnight, Haldir of Lorien."  
  
Haldir had little choice but to allow her to walk away - which wasn't quite as much of a hardship as it might have been since she was every bit as attractive from behind - and was left faced with the prospect of spending the night alone when he didn't want to. Frankly, it wasn't a situation he had encountered too frequently.  
  
Since sleeping had really been the last thing on his mind when he headed to bed, he elected to abandon that idea and take a walk. And possibly a swim.  
  
As it was, he was most of the way to the bathing pool when he heard noises. The kind that suggested he should go no further. Clearly at least two people in Rivendell were not alone tonight.  
  
Though not generally one for voyeurism, he couldn't resist a peek to see who it was. The couple were certainly too involved in each other to notice. He saw a dark elf who looked like Elrohir closely entwined with a blond elleth. No, scratch that, a blond elf.  
  
Well, he had always wondered that about Elrohir. He made a mental note never to drop in on him in the middle of the night. Not that he had ever had cause to before, but it was just as well to keep it in mind.  
  
Haldir made a hasty departure. His swim would have to wait until another night. That is, if he ever wanted to go into that water again knowing what was in it.  
  
***  
  
Instead, he took a leisurely walk around Imladris, discovering many interesting sights he had not seen on his previous visits. Try as he might, Haldir could not start to feel sleepy. He had a little trouble sleeping at the best of times and tonight was certainly not one of them.  
  
He turned a corner and very nearly collided with something solid. Said thing was revealed to be King Thranduil. Apparently he wasn't the only one prowling around tonight.  
  
Thranduil looked, for no reason Haldir could understand, thoroughly harassed. Odd strands had escaped from his normally perfectly styled hairdo and the lines in his forehead had deepened. "Lord Haldir," he said. "You are not in bed."  
  
Haldir decided it might be as well not to mention that he had hoped to spend the night with Thranduil's daughter.  
  
"No," he agreed, for lack of anything else to say.  
  
"Have you seen my son on your wanderings?"  
  
"No, not that I am aware," Haldir replied, wondering what could be so important that it couldn't wait until the morning.  
  
"If you do, inform him that I wish to speak to him," Thranduil said, his lips going thin. "Whatever he may be doing. He will understand what it is about."  
  
By now Haldir was starting to feel strongly that insanity ran in the family.  
  
"I will do so, if I should see him," he promised.  
  
Thranduil looked ridiculously grateful. "You're a great help, Haldir," he said. "I will remember this."  
  
Then he hurried off. Leaving Haldir wondering why exactly Rivendell wanted to ally itself to Mirkwood when all that lived there seemed to have lost their wits.  
  
Realising that he had now been prowling round Rivendell for more than two hours, Haldir concluded that he really should return to his chambers and at least attempt to get some sleep. It was a sound plan, with only one minor difficulty. He seemed to have lost his way and couldn't remember where his room was.  
  
Cursing himself, wondering what had happened to his legendary sense of direction, Haldir pointed himself in roughly the right direction and tried to recall where he was. He wandered on, looking for anything that might be familiar. When this failed, he started trying doors.  
  
Most were locked, one led to a library of some kind, one a broom closet. Surely some were bedchambers?  
  
He turned another corner and opened yet another door.  
  
This wasn't a bedchamber either. It was a charming indoor garden. Containing a fountain, a bench partially hidden by foliage and yet another couple trying to excavate each other's mouths with their tongues. Haldir began to wonder if there really was something dangerous in the water.  
  
This had to be Elladan, since Elrohir's antics in the pool would no doubt have worn him out some hours ago. Haldir couldn't see the face of the elleth he was entwined with, but she had the golden hair of Mirkwood. Linisse.  
  
Haldir quietly shut the door. He supposed he couldn't really run in and pull Elladan off her, since they had made no promises to each other. And clearly there was something between her and that Imladris casanova. Elbereth, suddenly everyone had someone except him.  
  
Haldir resumed his door openings, to his relief now finding sleeping bodies instead of mops and flowers. Now, if he could just remember which door was his . . .  
  
He opened the tenth door on the left and found himself being jerked inside and thrust against a wall. A warm pair of lips made talking impossible for several minutes. Which was all right, since he didn't know quite what to say anyway.  
  
It was only when he was released that he discovered the identity of his captor. And then he decided there was unquestionably something in the water.  
  
"I think it's about time you were in bed, Lord Haldir of Lorien," Alariel told him, her eyes glowing in the semi-darkness. "Allow me to put you there . . . " 


	3. Motives

Dragonfly, you are of course right. But unlike Traps, I think Eros will be solely from Haldir's POV. You will only see what he sees. Which at the moment is nothing, since he's completely obliviously to what's going on. And Valar knows I don't go in for graphics anyway.  
  
Haldir's Heart and Soul, Alariel is Elrond's niece and Legolas' fiancée. Check back to part 1.  
  
Thanks to all that have read and reviewed so far! Couldn't do it without you.  
  
'Part 3'  
  
When Haldir awoke the next morning, he was in his own bed and he was alone. Which in a way he was grateful for, since he certainly would have found it difficult to know what to say to her. On the other hand, it left open the very real possibility that he had been hallucinating and had, in fact, imagined the whole thing.  
  
Except that, the next night, she did it again.  
  
And again.  
  
And again.  
  
At which point Haldir felt it safe to conclude that he was not crazy. Far more worrying, however, he was now sleeping with the bride-to-be. This might make Legolas happy (Valar knew why, although perhaps she'd worn him out. She certainly was energetic), but Thranduil and Elrond were another matter. As a result, Haldir had taken to leaving rooms as soon as one of them entered (very difficult, suddenly they were everywhere), which he evidently hadn't managed as subtly as he'd hoped since it had led to Glorfindel taking him into a room and making discrete enquiries. Unfortunately, Glorfindel's concept of discrete enquiries was somewhat different from Haldir's own, involving as it did a rapid-fire question session while seated in a chair with a number of worryingly sharp objects attached to it. And a small dagger being casually twirled around Glorfindel's fingers.  
  
Unsurprisingly, Haldir's somewhat garbled, nervous explanation that it was all a coincidence, and he had merely not seen the pot plant he had fallen over that evening in his haste to get away, did not wholly convince Elrond's rather over enthusiastic seneschal. Before long Haldir had lost his composure to the point where he actually considered claiming that he had developed an allergy to Elrond's unique choice of eau-de-cologne. It was just as well he hadn't, since even if Glorfindel had believed it in the first place - unlikely, to say the least - it would have surely been proved a lie when the elf himself arrived.  
  
Haldir swallowed hard and gripped the arms of the chair as the Lord of Imladris gazed down at him with a concerned expression on his face.  
  
"Haldir," he said kindly, "I like to think that the house of Elrond takes care of its guests. You have been here several times before and have not seemed to suffer unduly, but on this visit something is clearly bothering you. If there is anything either myself, or Glorfindel, or Erestor can do to help you, you need only ask."  
  
Frankly, Glorfindel came across as just a little too sadistic for Haldir to believe that, but he couldn't deny that Elrond looked sincere.  
  
"I realise my behaviour . . . may have appeared a little odd," Haldir said cautiously.  
  
Elrond's lips curved in a hint of a smile. "I am no stranger to odd behaviour, Lord Haldir, you forget who my offspring are."  
  
"Of course," Haldir agreed. "I mean . . . that is to say . . ."  
  
"No apology is necessary."  
  
"Thank you," Haldir said gratefully.  
  
Elrond looked expectantly at him, obviously waiting for him to continue.  
  
"It's really nothing," Haldir said. "I . . . I have been having some difficulty sleeping lately. The last healer I saw suggested that I might be suffering from . . . stress. Perhaps I am a little . . . on edge."  
  
"Ah," Elrond said. "That certainly could explain it."  
  
Haldir felt quite certain that Elrond did not believe him, but was merely choosing to pretend that he did. At that moment, however, he was too relieved to care.  
  
"We have some very fine masseuses here in Imladris," Elrond was saying. "You may wish to consider taking some time to relax while you are here. I have visited them myself on occasion and I know Glorfindel finds them indispensable."  
  
What that a recommendation?  
  
"I . . . shall certainly think about it," Haldir said.  
  
Elrond nodded, apparently satisfied. Haldir breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Glorfindel," Elrond said, nodding to his seneschal. "If you would be so kind, I would like a private word with Haldir."  
  
Every muscle fibre in Haldir's body tensed. At least, all the ones that hadn't already. Which was about three.  
  
Glorfindel looked somewhat put out at this. Haldir strongly suspected that he would be listening at the door. Or maybe that was the idea.  
  
"Haldir," Lord Elrond said, when they were at least visibly alone. "I am glad we have a chance to talk. As it happens, I would like to ask your assistance on a matter . . . pertaining to the forthcoming wedding."  
  
Sweet Elbereth, why was everyone turning to him? He knew nothing about weddings. He'd been avoiding them since he'd passed his majority. Was there no one else in Imladris anyone wanted to inflict pain on?  
  
"Naturally, one hopes it will all go to plan," Elrond said, his face almost devoid of expression. "But if it happened that one, or both, of the parties had doubts - purely hypothetically of course - I should be very sad to see all the preparations go to waste."  
  
"You would like me to ensure that this wedding goes ahead?" Haldir asked hopelessly, wishing very hard that he had just refused to come to Rivendell in the first place.  
  
Elrond got a look in his eyes that looked terribly familiar. Like father, like son. It was a bad look.  
  
"I do not seek to interfere with a matter of the heart," Elrond said. "The ways of the Valar are often . . . mysterious. I would simply hope that it was not terminated . . . prematurely. After all, a wedding is a joyous event . . . "  
  
That was certainly a minority verdict.  
  
". . . even if it does not go quite to plan."  
  
By this point, Haldir was just plain confused. Legolas wanted the wedding stopped desperately, and Haldir didn't understand why. Thranduil wanted the wedding to go ahead equally desperately, and Haldir didn't understand that either. Elrond apparently just wanted to make sure he got the cake made and the flowers arranged before it was called off, and Haldir couldn't even begin to guess the logic behind that. If this was indeed a little joke by the Valar, when he went to the Halls of Mandos they would have to have a serious talk.  
  
"I think we understand each other," Elrond said composedly.  
  
Quite honestly, by that point all Haldir understood was that this vacation had been a very, very bad idea.  
  
***  
  
When he got back to his room that night, Alariel was sitting on his bed. Just as she had been for the last four. Haldir didn't know whether to curse or thank Elrond for the lack of locks on guestroom doors in Imladris.  
  
"You look tense," she said. "Allow me to relax you."  
  
For the first time, Haldir didn't just pounce and forget about his day. At the risk of confusing himself further, he had one question he had to ask.  
  
"Alariel," he said, as he sat down on the side of the bed and started to pull his boots off. "Do you want this wedding to go ahead?"  
  
Alariel moved up behind him and began to massage his shoulders. Haldir very slowly began to relax as her talented fingers worked their magic.  
  
"Well, I've come this far," she said, seemingly unconcerned. "I may as well go on."  
  
"You don't love him."  
  
"Your powers of observation astound me."  
  
Haldir frowned at her tone. "You want to spend eternity with an elf you don't love?"  
  
"Haldir, this is a political match," Alariel said impatiently. "No one will expect us to have a real marriage. I will go to Mirkwood as Princess, look pretty and say all the right things. I will find my entertainment elsewhere."  
  
"As you are at the moment with me."  
  
"Exactly. And don't you start acting insulted. I'm just a passing distraction for you as well and I know it."  
  
Haldir elected not to debate that. "But King Thranduil insisted that this was a love match. We heard that even in Lorien."  
  
Alariel laughed and kissed the top of his ear, sending delicious tremors down his spine. "Actually, what Thranduil said is that Legolas' heart is in Rivendell. Which is certainly true."  
  
Confusion was rapidly becoming Haldir's natural state. "Who is it with, if not you?"  
  
Alariel stopped her ministrations. She swung herself round to sit sideways on his lap and looked hard at him. Then she kissed his forehead.  
  
"You little innocent, you," she said affectionately. "I knew it two seconds after I first saw them together. But I suppose they fool others well enough, since no one else seems to have realised."  
  
"Who is it?" Haldir asked, wracking his brain to think of anyone he had seen Legolas with more than the rest. When not forced to spend time with Alariel, Legolas seemed to spend all his time with Linisse, Elrohir and Elladan. So who could it possibly be?  
  
Still, perhaps they tried to stay apart publicly.  
  
"If you can't see it for yourself, I won't tell you. But if I were to give you a tip, it would be to watch Legolas. In matters of the heart he is young and does not hide his feelings as well as . . . the other."  
  
"And you will say no more?"  
  
"Indeed," Alariel agreed, bending her head and starting to kiss his neck.  
  
"You still have not fully answered my question," Haldir said.  
  
Alariel stopped what she was doing and looked at him impatiently. "I am trying to seduce you, Lord Haldir. It would go better if you would stop talking and use your mouth for that which nature intended."  
  
"Why do you allow this wedding to go ahead when you plainly do not want Legolas as your husband?" Haldir said stubbornly, a small part of his mind wondering why he was pursuing this.  
  
"I did not say that. He is kind and gentle, polite and well regarded. I dare say he will do his duty as my husband very well - at least by day. And Mirkwood will be a new experience. It will be nice to be away from Rivendell."  
  
"Mirkwood is nothing compared to Rivendell in beauty."  
  
"Beauty is such a fickle thing. Take me. I am now hailed as the beauty of Imladris. Before Arwen Evenstar left for Minas Tirith, no one even noticed I was alive."  
  
"I did," Haldir said truthfully. "I saw you on many of my previous visits, but I was never able to get close enough to speak to you."  
  
Alariel was silent for moment. A curiously vulnerable look had appeared in her eyes. It only lasted a second and then she shook it away.  
  
"Have we talked enough now?" she demanded.  
  
Haldir reached a hand up and tangled it in her hair, holding her head firmly. "I think so," he said, and pulled her to him. 


	4. Health Hazards

Only one or two more parts to go. I've written most of the wedding scene already. Might need an epilogue as well.  
  
'Part 4'  
  
And so, Haldir took Alariel's advice and watched Legolas. Between avoiding Thranduil, Elrond and now Glorfindel, that was. He watched him so intently that it took him almost a week to realise that Elladan had started giving him funny looks. And, by that point, they were very funny indeed.  
  
And he still didn't see what Alariel saw. As far as he could see, the only elleth Legolas paid any attention to was Linisse. And Haldir felt fairly confident that he could discount that possibility.  
  
But that left him wondering. At least, when Legolas wasn't asking if Alariel had suggested calling off the wedding - which was roughly every hour. Haldir strongly resented the implication that her failure to do so was somehow his fault. If Alariel married Legolas she would be a princess of Mirkwood and gain everything that came with it. All Haldir possessed was a fine bow, a well-crafted sword, a set of knives and a rather bare talan he scarcely spent any time in. And a couple of nice tunics for diplomatic occasions - which he fully intended to burn when he got home, as he would never, ever leave Lorien again. He had absolutely nothing to offer her.  
  
That is, had he been considering offering her anything. Which of course he wasn't.  
  
After all, just because he found her beautiful and sexy and increasingly likeable despite her habit of laughing at him and the prospect of returning to his old, solitary life in Lorien grew bleaker with every passing day, didn't mean that he was in love with her, did it?  
  
He was in trouble.  
  
"Good morning, Lord Haldir," said one of the few voices he hadn't learned to fear. Yet.  
  
Haldir finally dared to lift his eyes from the path in front of him to meet Linisse's. She smiled at him. "Heading for the bathing pool?" she asked.  
  
Haldir nodded. It was one of the very few places in Imladris he still had fond memories of, chiefly because he and Alariel had brought new meaning to the phrase 'come on in, the water's lovely' the night before.  
  
"Walk with me then," Linisse said, slipping her arm into his. "Legolas and Elladan will already be there, I think. I am to meet them at any rate."  
  
Haldir seriously considered pulling his arm away and high tailing it back to the house. This was ridiculous behaviour. He was a warden, a guardian of Lothlorien. Half an hour with two slightly unhinged elves and the elleth who loved them should not scare him.  
  
"As it turns out," Linisse said conversationally, "we have not got to know each other very much at all. But then . . . I hear that you have been otherwise engaged."  
  
Haldir tensed and gave her a startled look. Linisse patted his arm comfortingly. "The four of us really have no secrets from each other. Don't worry, none of us have any intention of telling Adar, or Lord Elrond. Just because we want to stop the wedding doesn't mean we want to make you suffer."  
  
Funny, that wasn't the impression he'd got.  
  
"But then you have been otherwise engaged as well," Haldir remarked, recalling the scene he'd witnessed in the garden.  
  
Linisse's grip on his arm tightened a little. "What makes you say that?" she asked, her voice suddenly guarded.  
  
Haldir told her. She relaxed instantly and laughed. "Then I'm afraid, Lord Haldir, that you are mistaken. I know of the garden of which you speak, but I can assure that I have not been there with Elladan."  
  
Haldir looked closely at her. She was either an extremely accomplished liar, or she was telling the truth.  
  
"Perhaps I am," he agreed slowly. "I did not see the elleth's face and the light was dim - perhaps I mistook her hair colour."  
  
"It appears so. But I will not hold that against you."  
  
They walked on in companionable silence. Haldir idly wondered who the elleth with Elladan really had been, since he hadn't noticed him with any other elleth either. Apparently everyone had a secret lover in Rivendell.  
  
Legolas' face brightened when he spotted them approaching the pool.  
  
"Haldir!" he called. "Has Alariel . . . "  
  
His sentence was abruptly cut short when he was pulled under the water. A few moments later he surfaced again, coughing and wiping wet hair from his eyes, and glared at Elladan's laughing face beside him.  
  
"There's something lurking under the water," Elladan said impishly.  
  
"Do that one more time and I'll see to it that you're buried in this pool."  
  
"You wouldn't really do that?" Elladan wheedled. "Forgive me, Legolas melamin?"  
  
"Shut up, Elladan," Legolas said grouchily, and swam over to where Linisse and Haldir were just preparing to get into the water.  
  
"So, has she?" Legolas asked hopefully.  
  
"For the final time," Haldir said, deftly stripping down to his bathing shorts, "if she suggests calling off the wedding, I will tell you. For the moment, she seems to consider becoming princess of Mirkwood worth being married to you. Perhaps if you had devoted quite as much attention to irritating her as you have to me, she might have reconsidered by now."  
  
"But the wedding is in less than two days!" Legolas pleaded.  
  
"I know!" Haldir snapped. It was never off his mind.  
  
"Now, boys," Linisse said, slipping into the water before Haldir had a chance to enjoy the spectacle of her clad in nothing but a very small bathing suit. "Behave yourself. There's still the last resort."  
  
Legolas paled. "We're only doing that if all else fails."  
  
"Lego," Elladan said. "That's the definition of a last resort."  
  
"You know what I mean! I don't want my private business to be public knowledge. Besides, if my father is to find out I would prefer it if we had a little distance between us."  
  
"Like you in Rivendell and him in Valinor?" Elladan suggested.  
  
Legolas gave a rather nervous laugh. "Something like that."  
  
"What's the last resort?" Haldir asked, letting himself float onto his back and enjoying the water. This was one thing that Lorien didn't have to offer.  
  
"The last resort," Elladan said, grinning. "Is I get up at the wedding and tell everyone that it can't go ahead because I'm in love with Legolas and can't live without him."  
  
Haldir laughed.  
  
"That's not funny," Legolas said.  
  
"Wasn't meant to be," was the casual reply.  
  
A shadow fell across Haldir's face and he looked over towards the bank. Elrohir stood there, formally attired in dress robes, looking sternly at them.  
  
"The wedding rehearsal is in one hour," he said. "At that time, you must all be dry, properly dressed and present in the great hall. So I suggest you all make haste to get out of the water."  
  
Elladan groaned. "Big brother, we just got in! And no one will really miss us. Why don't you forget about the rehearsal and join us?"  
  
He swam over to the bank and looked up at Elrohir pleadingly. "Ten minutes won't hurt. Especially if . . . "  
  
He reached up to grab Elrohir's robes and pull him in, but was stopped by Linisse. "Elladan, that is not funny," she said sharply. "I would expect you to have learnt your lesson by now. If not, I am quite willing to tell Lord Elrond that you need further instruction."  
  
"Spoilsport," Elladan muttered.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked.  
  
Elladan shrugged. "He has a tiny fear of water because I played a joke on him."  
  
"He has a very real fear of water because you nearly drowned him," Linisse corrected.  
  
"Sweet Elbereth, it was an accident!" Elladan exclaimed. "You don't think I'd try to kill my own brother, do you? Anyway, that was decades ago. I've grown up now."  
  
All his companions snorted. Elladan glared at them. "Fine," he said, pulling himself onto the bank and gathering up his clothes. "I know when I'm not wanted."  
  
With that he stalked off towards the house. Legolas pulled himself out too and followed, as Linisse and Haldir reluctantly left the water.  
  
***  
  
Late that night, Haldir went looking for the broom closet because he now needed a mop. Clearly Elrond hadn't had the bathing facilities in the guest rooms checked in a while. Not surprising when he had to co-ordinate the wedding from Mordor.  
  
Of course, now he needed it he couldn't find it to save his life.  
  
After a while, though, he did succeed in finding the garden where he had believed he had seen Linisse and Elladan. Which is when he got to thinking. He hadn't seen the elleth clearly, but he had been certain it was Elladan. Or, at least, he'd been certain because he'd thought that had been Elrohir in the bathing pool. But if Elrohir was afraid of the water . . .  
  
Dear Valar, did that mean that Elladan . . .  
  
Interesting. Clearly that elf really did try anything once.  
  
Although, given how cosy the two of them had looked, in might well have been more than once.  
  
But who could the blond elf possibly have been?  
  
Haldir pondered this as he counted doors. Finally he found what he thought was the broom closet and pulled open the door.  
  
And then he discovered exactly who it was, since the elf and Elladan were in there together. Wrapped around each other in what, all things considered, was a fairly intimate matter. It was Legolas  
  
Well, that was a surprise.  
  
Actually, kind of a big surprise.  
  
He never would have . . .  
  
Haldir fainted. 


	5. Thranduil's Big Mistake

'Part 5'  
  
Had anyone happened to be listening outside Elrohir's suite - and, fortunately for all concerned, they weren't - they would have heard the following. At quite a loud volume.  
  
"I TOLD you the last resort was me telling Thranduil I loved Legolas."  
  
"I didn't think you were SERIOUS."  
  
"Why wouldn't he be serious? Is it THAT hard to believe that we're a couple?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because he's ELLADAN. Mothers warn their daughters about him. Never in any of the stories was there a mention that they should lock up their sons as well."  
  
"He makes a fair point, little brother. I did not guess and I know you better than anyone."  
  
"See, I CAN be subtle!"  
  
Haldir sat on an uncomfortable chair in Elrohir's overly neat rooms and tried to reconcile his view of the world with this new information. The fact of the matter is that when one is almost seven thousand years old and has been trained not to miss anything, one does not expect one's worldview to be turned upside down at a moment's notice.  
  
"So," he said slowly. "Just to see if I'm clear about this. You four are really two twos?"  
  
Four heads nodded. Linisse smiled sheepishly at him from her seat on Elrohir's lap. "I would have liked to have told you," she said. "But we have had to keep it a secret. Adar will not react well."  
  
"And this happened while you twins were in Mirkwood last spring?"  
  
Elladan grinned. "I think I can safely say we did more to improve relations between Mirkwood and Rivendell than the greatest diplomats my father has sent. Once Thranduil comes around, anyway."  
  
"Thranduil invited me to escort Linisse for the spring season," Elrohir said. "Of course I considered it my duty to accept."  
  
"And he seemed to think I might be a good influence on Legolas," Elladan added.  
  
Haldir nearly laughed out loud at the very idea of Elrond's youngest being a good influence on anyone. He settled for a disbelieving stare. "What my brother means to say," Elrohir explained, eyes for once twinkling in amusement. "Is that King Thranduil believed he would encourage Legolas to . . . explore the delights offered by the fairer sex."  
  
Legolas produced a wicked grin of the kind Haldir had never before seen on his face. "Needless to say, it backfired a little."  
  
"To the surprise of all concerned," Linisse remarked.  
  
"Not least my own," Elladan said wryly. "Seducing the prince of Mirkwood was not exactly what I envisaged doing on my spring vacation."  
  
Legolas snorted. "I do not think that qualified as a seduction."  
  
Elladan looked thoroughly affronted. "It worked, didn't it? Besides, I'm afraid I never learned how to approach a male elf in that manner. Before I met Legolas, I had the strange notion that it was a skill I would never need. Unfortunately, he is beautiful to the point of being dangerous."  
  
Legolas blushed. Elrohir tightened his grip around Linisse's waist and smiled. "It seems to run in the family." She smiled down at him and gave him a kiss.  
  
"So you see," Linisse said, when she pulled away again, "this will come as a bit of a shock to Adar. We have kept it a secret in the hope of finding a good time to tell him, although I think it has now become clear that such a time will never come. We hope to tell everyone before we leave, but for now only the four of us - and you - know."  
  
"Alariel knows," Haldir said suddenly, remembering her words some days earlier. "She told me early on that Legolas loved another. That it was quite plain to her, although no one else seemed to see it. I certainly could not."  
  
"And she still wants to go ahead with the wedding?" Elladan said, disbelieving.  
  
Haldir nodded. "I am afraid she is perfectly willing to let Legolas have any lover he wishes, on the understanding that she will do the same."  
  
Legolas smiled weakly. "Then I imagine I will be seeing a lot of you at court, Haldir. I hope you will be happy exchanging the golden wood for the green one."  
  
Haldir somewhat doubted that. Especially since he felt it would be wise to stay far away from Thranduil once he discovered that Haldir had no hope - or intention - of keeping his promise to insure that the wedding went ahead.  
  
"I would prefer that she return to Lorien with me," he heard himself say.  
  
"Then why don't you tell her that?" Elladan said passionately. "Fight for her. Tell her you can't live without her. Do whatever it is you do that usually works so well. Convince her to forget about my Legolas and marry you!"  
  
Marry him? He had not said he wanted that . . . had he? And surely she would never consider such a match. He was only March Warden, after all, and from a family of no consequence. She was the niece of Lord Elrond. And she had given him no sign that she felt anything significant for him.  
  
"She will not do so," he said, his heart strangely heavy. "The last resort is your only resort."  
  
"At least try," Legolas said, going pale at the idea. "There is still tomorrow to make her change her mind."  
  
"I will try," Haldir promised.  
  
He really would have to stop promising things.  
  
***  
  
The next day, Haldir tried very hard to keep his promise. He tried to bring the conversation around to Lorien and how beautiful it was. He tried to give her subtle hints that being princess of Mirkwood wasn't really as important and appealing as it sounded. And he tried very hard to tell her that he really didn't want her to marry Legolas.  
  
Unfortunately, he failed miserably in all these things.  
  
Worse still, the sun flew across the sky that day and it was night before he knew it. He and Alariel spent the night together as usual. She was her normal self, showing no sign of concern for the events of the morrow.  
  
"Will you perhaps come to Mirkwood sometime?" was the only thing of any consequence she said.  
  
"I will," Haldir told her. "I give you my word."  
  
And that was one promise he was determined to keep.  
  
***  
  
Haldir woke at first light the next morning to find Alariel sitting on the end of his bed, already fully dressed. He approached her slowly, crawling on his knees towards her. It was only when his hands touched her shoulders and felt them shaking that he realised she was sobbing.  
  
"Haldir," she said, in a very small voice. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to go through with it."  
  
Thank the Valar!  
  
"You will not have to," Haldir said, getting up and hurriedly pulling on his discarded clothes. "Come, we will go to Legolas. He will be happy to learn that the last resort will not be necessary."  
  
"What's the last resort?" Alariel asked, watching Haldir in confusion.  
  
"Elladan objecting to the wedding and confessing his love for Legolas."  
  
"Legolas and ELLADAN?" Alariel exclaimed. "I thought he was in love with Elrohir!"  
  
Haldir stopped halfway through pulling on a boot and embraced her. "Do not concern yourself, melamin," he said, laughing and planting a kiss on her inviting mouth. "It is a mistake easily made!"  
  
***  
  
"Change of plan," was all that Legolas said when Haldir and Alariel found him. "We're going ahead with the wedding. The only way my father can't deny all knowledge of our love is if it's declared publicly."  
  
He squared his shoulders as if he was going into battle.  
  
"We're going for the last resort." 


	6. Martha Stewart Is Furious

And I'm spent.  
  
In case anyone wonders, the title is a reference to the movie 'In and Out'.  
  
Thanks to all that have read and reviewed this story. Hope you've enjoyed it! : - )  
  
'Part 6'  
  
A stranger would have found it hard to determine just which of the four elves at the altar was the groom, since they all looked horribly nervous and more than a little green around the gills. Haldir held his hands behind his back to stop himself reverting to his childish habit of biting his nails. Elbereth, would they just hurry up?  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Haldir saw Linisse and Elrohir exchanging looks. Linisse looked particularly lovely, quite the prettiest of the three bridesmaids in anyone's opinion. Elrohir was a very lucky elf.  
  
The music began and all four males straightened up. Elladan put his hand on Legolas' arm in what just about passed for a friendly gesture. If it stayed there a fraction too long, no one seemed to notice.  
  
Haldir's breath caught in his throat as Alariel entered. Her eyes locked with his as she came up the aisle and for a moment he forgot she was here to be married to Legolas. He almost stepped forward to stand by her when she reached them. Fortunately Elrohir had the presence of mind to grab him as he made to move.  
  
"Patience," Elrohir murmured into his ear, his amusement audible, "today is not your day."  
  
Haldir looked gratefully at him. He was beginning to wonder whether the nervous breakdown his brothers had been predicting for centuries had finally happened.  
  
Elrond stepped up in front of Legolas and Alariel and began the ceremony.  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today . . . "  
  
Try as he might, Haldir couldn't take his eyes off Alariel. A fine representative of Lorien he was, standing gazing at the bride. He prayed Lord Celeborn would never hear of this, since he would doubtlessly tease him unmercifully in his own unique way.  
  
". . . And now I must ask - does anyone here know of any reason why Legolas, prince of Mirkwood and Alariel, lady of Rivendell, should not be joined together this day?"  
  
"I object!"  
  
Strange, that hadn't been Elladan's voice.  
  
Why was everyone staring at him?  
  
Oh, dear Valar!  
  
"I would have to object too," he heard Elladan say from beside him.  
  
Haldir dared a look at Thranduil. His face seemed to have turned to stone. Strangely, Elrond didn't look even slightly perturbed, although he did seem a little bemused.  
  
"Haldir?" Elrond said, one of his eyebrows quirking just a little. "Since you were first. On what grounds do you object to this union?"  
  
Well, he couldn't very well make things any worse.  
  
"I think . . . " Haldir said slowly, still not entirely certain himself what was going on, ". . . I think I may be in love with the bride."  
  
Alariel's head snapped round. She stared at him, her expression one of complete and utter astonishment.  
  
"I see," Elrond said, completely unruffled, as a wave of murmurs broke out among the guests. "And Elladan, do you also think you may be in love with the bride?"  
  
Elladan shot a glance at Legolas. "No father," he said, loudly and clearly. "I KNOW that I am in love with the groom."  
  
Even that didn't seem to surprise Elrond. "Well," he said. "In that case, there doesn't seem to be much point in carrying on with the ceremony. Unless the . . . happy couple . . . still wish to go ahead?"  
  
"Not really," Alariel said, her eyes still locked on Haldir.  
  
"Legolas?"  
  
"Huh?" Legolas said, tearing his eyes away from Elladan. "Oh, no, I can't say that I do."  
  
Any further comments that might have been made were drowned out by what could only be described as a roar.  
  
"Now, Thranduil, calm yourself. There is no need to overreact," Elrond said composedly.  
  
"Overreact?" Thranduil repeated, his face starting to turn red as he clenched his fists. "I have spent the last year doing everything in my power to insure that this alliance was protected and now it lies in ruins. On top of that, I now discover that the one who has enticed my son into this disobedience is none other than your own offspring! How is it possible for me to overreact?"  
  
"But nothing has been ruined," Elrond said, his grey eyes beginning to twinkle in a way that told the onlookers better than words ever could exactly where Elladan had inherited his terrible sense of humour. "If Legolas and Elladan should feel that they wish to be bonded, I am quite prepared to recognise that union."  
  
Thranduil stared at him. His colour began to shift towards mauve.  
  
"You . . . you led me to believe that you would only accept a traditional marriage," Thranduil spluttered. "One that would produce offspring."  
  
Elrond finally appeared mildly surprised. "I am sorry if I gave you that impression, Thranduil," he said. "It was quite unintentional."  
  
"Do you mean to say that I have been through this nightmare for nothing?!"  
  
HE's been through a nightmare? Haldir thought.  
  
"A simple misunderstanding, which I would gladly have cleared up had I been aware of it," Elrond said calmly.  
  
Thranduil looked as though he might explode at any moment. Legolas and Elladan, on the other hand, were gazing at Elrond with something akin to hero worship in their eyes.  
  
"Legolas, I grant you leave to remain in Imladris for as long as you shall desire," Elrond said, as Thranduil began muttering dazedly to himself. "And Elladan, for my part, you are free to go to Mirkwood whenever you choose. Take some time to celebrate your love as it should be celebrated . . . and then we will speak some more."  
  
The next thing anyone knew, Elrond was being hugged half to death by his youngest son.  
  
"And Thranduil," Elrond said, when he was released again, a strange light in his eyes. "I do not think you need to concern yourself about a delay in the cementing of our alliance. For, unless I am very much mistaken, Elrohir has a request to make of you."  
  
Elrohir stepped forward, looking uncharacteristically nervous." King Thranduil," he said. "When my brother and I resided at your court last spring, I'm afraid I also took a little more advantage of your hospitality than I intended. I . . . I fell in love with your daughter, and she with me."  
  
He reached out and took Linisse's hand. With a quick glance at her, he continued.  
  
"We plighted our troth to each other before I left and, since all is prepared for a wedding, we would ask for your consent for us to be bound to each other this day."  
  
Thranduil's brow puckered in confusion. "But . . . but . . . I thought you were the one who preferred males," he said pathetically. "Why else would I have allowed you to spend so much time alone with my daughter?"  
  
A mischievous grin appeared on Elrohir's face, making him look more like his brother than he had in a thousand years. "A simple misunderstanding, which I would gladly have cleared up had I been aware of it," he said, drawing a small smile from Elrond.  
  
Thranduil's completely floored expression suggested that events were moving a little too fast for him. He looked from Legolas and Elladan to Linisse and Elrohir to Elrond quite a number of times before his gaze finally landed on Alariel.  
  
"What . . . what do you think about all this?" he asked her, in what tried and failed to pass for a composed tone.  
  
Alariel finally unfroze and moved to Haldir's side. The vulnerable look was back in her eyes as she looked up at him.  
  
"My lord, I find I can bear it very well," she said shakily.  
  
Thranduil's last shred of sanity deserted him. "What in the name of the Valar have you put in the water?!" he exclaimed.  
  
Before he could stop himself, Haldir began to laugh. And a moment later, all three couples were clutching at each other, helpless with mirth.  
  
"I think perhaps," Elrond said dryly. "That is one question it would be wise not to ask."  
  
***  
  
"So, I trust the wedding went off as planned?" Lord Celeborn said, as Haldir stood in front of him to give his report.  
  
Haldir shifted his feet slightly. "Not exactly," he said.  
  
Celeborn raised an eyebrow. "What, precisely, does that mean? Have Prince Legolas and Lady Alariel not been married?"  
  
"Actually, no," Haldir said, quite sure that Celeborn already knew what he was telling him. "Lord Elrohir of Rivendell and Princess Linisse of Mirkwood celebrated their marriage instead."  
  
"And Prince Legolas?"  
  
"I believe he and Lord Elladan are planning to be bonded at some point in the future, once King Thranduil has accepted their union. So in a millennia or two."  
  
"Dear me," Celeborn said. "And what of Lady Alariel?"  
  
Haldir gulped. "I . . . brought her back to Lorien with me," he said.  
  
Celeborn smiled. "I take it, then, that this vacation has been something of a success?"  
  
"I think so," Haldir said. "Overall."  
  
Then he looked at Celeborn with a pleading look in his eyes.  
  
"Just please do not ever make me take another one."  
  
FIN 


End file.
